First date off Pink Sofa - if the rest turn out like this I am demanding a refund!!! She turns up twenty minutes late - sits awkwardly opposite me - and stares at me. She doesn't pull her chair in just sits about six feet away from me staring. The waiter came with menus and as I am perusing the different pasta dishes I notice she isn't reading the menu. 'I'm not hungry' she says. 'Oh well' I say - shall we just have a drink. 'I'm not that thirsty' she says. FFS!!! I patiently explain the concept of a restaurant - ie they tend not to be too happy if you just sit at their tables and chat then leave without ordering anything. She finally deigns to have a coffee. We sit in silence apart from occasional rumble of my tummy..... I don't want to eat when she isn't.. Then she starts talking - about the three suicide attempts of her ex. I suppose its different from the usual conversations about music and films. But her delivery is not very interesting. After half an hour I am starting to empathise with her ex....I eye up the unused knife in front of me and know if I have to sit much longer I will be dragging its serated edge along my wrist. Finally we leave. A painful 96 minutes. I say goodbye and go into Starbucks - STARVING - so I have two chicken and pesto panini's, a packet of crisps and a chocolate tiffin with two latte's. Feel so much better. Come back and have another look at pink sofa. Two messages!! Excited I open them. One is from a 64 year old. The other is from what is almost definately a bloke in a dress. At the risk of sounding agist and transsexualist......both not at all what I am looking for. Gonna have to go through the profiles and find some good ones to message. But not today. Then another message pops in - from my disasterous lunch date - saying she enjoyed it and wants to take me for a curry next weekend!!! Wtf? How could she have though there was any potential for even a friendship after that....

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